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| Wednesday, February 01, 2006 |
| I was chicken, but I should ante up |
I wanted to join the movement asking God to suprise us, show Himself to us, and help us to know Him in a new light. In my head I kinda did, but I didn't really commit to the journey. I felt like I was already on a journey of simplifying. But I wanted to be surprised. Feeling so stressed out and like life is beyond my control. Wanting to move from this place that I dread going home to some days. Feeling overcommitted with many different jobs running at once. Managing to pull of teaching community ed. photography, but hating nearly every second of it. Looking over my tax forms to realize I may even owe this year (even though I made about $10,000 less than last year). Which also made me wonder if I've been way overpaying for this place I've had to call home. Buying groceries, but forgetting that the payment to my student loan (the one I made so that I didn't default) was going through and going into the red (no worries, I got a 2-day bail out so I won't get overdraft charges and will be repaying that from my small check on Friday). Rent coming due on Monday, but I need to finish this last wedding job before I will likely have the cash to pay it (meaning late nights on the computer). This morning dropping a contact lens (the last right eye one I had) and totally panicking. Thinking I'll need to find more money to order more contacts. Drowning in the sea of life. Pretty sure I have a cavity on one of my wisdom teeth and definately am having issues with some sensitive spots on my teeth, but have yet to hear about my dental insurance which I filed for before Christmas. Stressed out by lots and lots of stuff. Missing a friend who is far away and wishing we could drive and listen to music tonight. Moreover, feeling like crying is just below the surface and it's only a matter of time before it busts loose.
Here's where God steps in a calms me to a bearable level. I do have a paycheck coming Friday. And tips on Saturday. And a check from St. Christophers sometime in the next week (or so). And a check from Mpls Community Ed from last semester when they forgot to pay me. And when this wedding is finished, I will recieve a large payment (to more than cover the rent). And I need to give Dave Rusan a call and go down to work for him early next week in some of my "off" time. And an online Craigslist garage sale to be had.
I had saved the right eye box of my contacts (instead of throwing it when empty) so I would be sure to order the right things. I was going to write down the info and toss the box tonight, and SURPRISE there was another right eye contact stuck in the top of the box! Going through a pile of junk mail and find a large envelope labeled Health Partners. Hmmmm, what could this be?.....SURPRISE, dental insurance information. Feel free to make an appointment during some of your "off" time to get your teeth looked at. I think I'm ready to ask to be surprised. I'm not expecting something noticeable each day, but I'll try to be prepared to accept it. |
posted by Jen @ 11:25 PM   |
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